ISTOKWA

andito ako ngaun sa isang lugar hindi kalayuan.
nais kong umalis ngunit ayaw humiwalay sa pinanggalingan.
pinapahupa ang kumukulong sitwasyon sa buhay
na tila bagang naghahanap kung saan tahimik na mahimlay.

coffee hater!

I really don't drink coffee and im not used to drink it.
but later this morning I had a client meetings
and she offered me their best selling coffee from their resto bar.
Since she was so kind to offer me a cup of coffee so i drank it.
It was not a good feeling after that cup of coffee..

I really hate it!
I really do!
I was palpitating and shaking!
i hate that coffee effect!

I promise not to drink a cup of coffee anymore..

adjustment period

hmm.. im feeling a little bit weird.
I'm weighing things over about my work.
There are times that i enjoy working but there
are times that i feel so left out.

I know im the newest employee in the company
and im having a hard time dealing with people
who i dont really need to be close with.
oh well, i just let things happen and so far
im still standing on where i am.

It may be so hard but im still trying to be ok.
goodluck to me..:))

First day (2nd work)

First day was ok but i really need to adjust my time.
I met some fellow Kulasas at work and it was good.
I still don't know how the job is going to be, but
I'll take the challenge.

Let's see how far i can stay.. woohhoohhh!:)

my last day of work

This is my last day of work in the office.
one chapter of my life has ended but i'll be
having my second job on Monday and i'm so
excited..

It was good to know them, but I cannot continue
my life into something that I am not happy doing it.
Hope my second job could give me the happiness
that i'm looking for..

Just so excited to work in a new environment
and meet new people..

thank you for my previous employer, I gained something
from you guyz.. i'll see you somewhere there in makati..:)

kantang-tula

ito ay dapat sanang lyrics ng kanta.
OO.. tama ka.. kanta nga ang narinig mo.
gusto kong gumawa ng kanta..
PERO.. ISANG MALAKING PERO!
parang hindi naman ito pwedeng kanta
parang ang naisulat ko eh pang tula pa din..

kung ganun.. sa tingin ko tula pa rin nga ito.
pero kung sino man kayang lapatan ito ng tono
eh sobrang matutuwa ako.. dahil kanta nga ito dapat eh..
susubukan ko siyang palapatan ng musika kung pwede..

para nga pala ito sa kanya..
alam na niya kung sino siya at wag ng umissue pa.
hahahaha.. masaya lang akong nagsulat ng di mo maintindihan
kung kanta o tula o sadyang mga salita lang..
ito nga pala iyon...

ilang beses ng nagtatanong
ilang beses ng urong sulong
hindi makuha ang sagot
sobra nang bagot na bagot

nangangapa sa alapaap
na parang dinuduyan ng mga ulap
nawawala ako, nawawala ako
maari mo ba akong ibalik sa'yo?

natatakot, nagtatago, nagugulo
lagyan ng ilaw ang nilalakaran ko
wag kang bumitiw sa aking kamay
pagkat ayaw kong mahiwalay

ikaw ang dahilan ng saya
habang kumikinang ang mga tala
humahampas ang hangin
at malayo ang tingin

yakapin ako ng mahigpit
at hayaan mong ako'y kumapit
hinding-hindi ako aalis
hangga't yan ang iyong nais.

~r.i.z~

Lazy dear..

Thursday morning isn't that good. I was so lazy the whole day.
Perhaps, I just wanna go out of the company as soon as possible.
I do not want to do my works anymore simply because I know deep in
me that I'm not enjoying it anymore..

I still have a week to stay..
God, please help me survive for one week..

humps and bumps

I am not good as it seems
a lot of things are going through my life now.
I don't know what to think of
and I definitely don't know what to do.

Humps and bumps..
Yes! I have them all at once.
sadness.. Check!
Hurt.. Check!
Worries.. Check!
Tears.. Check!

Everything is in me today,
so here I am managing to stay still
looking at the mirror and staring at myself

Thanking the one above for putting even a single smile on my face..:)

GOOD NEWS FOR TODAY!:)

For almost 8 months that I have been working I always hear myself complaining about the things that I do in the office. I am truly honest with myself that I am not not enjoying my work anymore and I have been waiting so long just to gain that 6 months of experience (for resume purposes only). From the time I was regularized I have been thinking of finding another job that would compensate me well and will give the enjoyment that I was looking for. I tried sending my resume again to different companies in Makati and waited for them to respond. Until the moment that I was able to meet my former classmate inside the fx. It was actually a coincidence, I cannot remember her name but we made “chikkas” and everything. She asked for my mobile number and so I gave it to her finding out that she’s also thinking about my name.. hahahhaha! then I asked her to give me a call if they have any available jobs in the office. The funny thing is that after she left the fx that was the only time when I remembered her name.. hahahahha..

After a week she called and told me that somebody from their office just resigned. I was so eager go to their office for an interview. So I passed my resume to her boss and had a face-to –face interview with them yesterday...
The greatest thing that happened is that I received an email from them.

“Thank you for coming into the office yesterday morning. Please find attached our formal offer of employment as discuss.

We look forward to growing with you.”


After I read the message, I felt so happy.. woohhooohh!! Finally! I’m so excited to work with them.. New environment, new friends, new boss, new routine, new office and new challenges of course! Thank you Lord for this opportunity and I also want to thank my classmate for referring me to her boss.
I’m looking forward in working with you guyz..
See you all soon..:)

hello guys.. where are you? yuhoooo!!!

It’s been quite a while since I last had a full blast party with my high school friends. Some of them flew out of the country and already starting their life now but what about the others? I wonder where they are now... I wonder how they are doing with their careers and personal lives. Way back when we were all young I always thought that we’ll be all together until the end and I was never prepared for changes like these. I’m always proud of the group that we were able to surpass all the challenges together and stayed together for years but now? I don’t know what’s happening... Are they gone? Am I still remembered or is it just the way it should be? Maybe when your friends are starting to fall in love and have their own “special someone”, I think that is the beginning of all the changes you might encounter. Hmm... but that’s alright.. it’s fine really... it’s just that I’m missing the group so much and I want to see them again and feel like the old times..

Wherever you are guys.. I want to see you all.. November is coming up.. let’s have a Halloween party again! This time will be ours..:) see you soon guys.. missing u all so much!:)

LOVE SPEAKS

I am writing these words now
while listening to my heart's vow
I could also hear it shouting your name
and i know we're just feeling the same

Look at me from where you are standing
this is what i have become from believing
how much God is working between us
and how much more time had passed.

This is to prove how thankful I will always be
for all the happiness that i was able to see
because you were there to catch me,
you saved me from all the miseries and now I am free.

From this day, I would like to tell the world about this
because this is my one moment of bliss
I'm so grateful I have found you
in a world where true love has no clue.

I thank you for the love and care
for all the things that we share
thank you for the patience and uderstanding
especially during our times of misunderstanding

I'm endlessly thanking the one up above
for giving me this kind of love,
for giving us time to cherish this gift
as long as we stick from our belief.

I am yours and you are mine
and everything is gonna be fine
for true love will always find its way
and will keep every reason to stay.

09/03/2010
**riz**
~this is for you..:)

hayz..:(

dami dami kong gustong sabihin..
pero kahit isang salita hindi nais kumawala.
mas gugustuhin na lang manahimik
para hindi na lang din lumaki..

nagkukulet lang!

hindi ako magaling magsulat,
wala sa akin ang teknikal na aspeto ng pagsusulat,
basta alam ko pagsusulat na tong ginagawa ko..

nakakatawa ano? pero nakakakaaliw.
dito nailalabas ang lahat ng mga tanong,
lahat ng nais ibahagi, lahat ng kuro-kuro,
lahat ng ka-tripan, at lahat ng emosyon..

kumportable ako sa ganitong paraan,
wala akong pakealam sa kung paano talaga magsulat,
kumportable sa sariling lengwahe
na para ka lang bumabyahe..

marami kang kausap sa blog na to,
kahit hindi mo naririnig,
alam mo ang tono, alam mo boses
ng sarili mong likha at ang masaya dun
hinahayaan mong mabasa ng kung sino
man nilalang ang mga gawa mo.

ang galing ano?
wala lang nakakaaliw lang.
anu kaya ang masasabi ng mga makakabasa nito?
maaring may tumawa dahil sa kabaliwan na to,
maari din may mainis dahil walang laman ang blog na to,
maari rin may makaisip na nagsayang lang siya nga
oras sa pagbasa nito.

pero kahit anu pa man..
ayos lang..
ang alam ko lang nabasa mo to!
ayos na un! nagkaron ka ng time para dito
kaya salamat..:)

hahahahah! apir!

Ok. this is depressing

just as i was fixing my clothes
some of them couldn't fit me anymore..

ggrrrr!!

and it's too depressing!:(

i really need to go on a strict diet..

DIET! DIET! DIET!!!

unfinished

once in my lifetime
i've done the perfect crime
i met an angel from up above
and found my greatest love

a love that is forbidden
and was never meant to happen
he was sent just to look after me
and not to love and live with me..


*note: UNFINISHED*

Another freaking moment

This time it happened along the corridor of the building.
just as i was about to get back inside the office
somebody called my name again.. but this time i heard it
from the fire exit.. ggrrrr!!!
a loud voice coming from a lady.. and it was so loud..

my knees were shaking and all i could do was run towards the office door..


gggrrr!! another freaking moment!

Wants to be your ONLY ONE

I may sound so selfish
But this is really what i wish
If things could be undone
I want to be your only one.

Impossible as it may seems
Though it may happen only in my dreams
Where everything could be fine,
Where i can only make you mine.

I close my eyes for a while
There i saw you smile
I reach out for your hand
Right from where i stand

How i wish time would stop
Analyzing this piece of crap
For i would love to treasure this forever
Even if it means NEVER.

ONLY ONE!

i may sound so selfish
but i want to be his ONLY ONE!

grrr...

someday I'll find HIM
and i hope he'll love me
with all his heart..

HOW I WISH HE'LL COME..

don't worry i'm just waiting right here..

*WISH**WISH**WISH**

earthquake attack!

i thought i was just feeling dizzy
until my officemates asked..
i ran quickly to the stairs.
from 19th floor down..

gosh! that's what you call

ADRENALINE RUSH!!!

wala sa damit yan!

oh well.. wala lang naman ito.
walang masyadong seryosong isusulat.
isa lamang itong obserbasyon sa mga tao..

Minsan sa aking paglalakad aking napapansin pati
ang mga damit ng mga taong nakakasalubong ko tinitignan ko.
kumpara mo naman sa suot ko mas muka nga silang nagtatrabaho
sa opisina kesa sakin. para lang naman akong isang taong
pagala gala lang sa kalye kumpara sa kanila. Pero naiisip
ko balot ng kanilang magarang suot naisip ko kung ano kaya
ang totoong pagkatao nila sa likod ng mga damit na iyon.

wala naman akong negatibong iniisp. Masyado lang akong curious talaga.
Tulad na lamang noong isang araw dumaan ako sa opisina ng barkada ko,
wala lang nagkita lang kami. Sa opisini kasi nila eh may uniporme hindi
tulad sa amin. anyway,malayo pa lang ay tanaw ko na mula sa pintuan ng opisina
ang kaibigan ko ngunit mayroon din akong napansin na isang lalakeng nakabarong
na puti na nakatayo sa gilid ng kanyang lamesa at nakikipag-usap sa kanya.
Napa-isip ako kung sino siya. Ang buong akala ko iyon ay si Manong guard ng kanilang
opisina. Pumasok na ako ng pinto at lumapit. Pinakilala ako ng kaibigan ko sa kanya.
Malaman laman ko na ang lalakeng naka-puting eto eh ang Presidente pala ng kanilang kumpanya. oohhhhh!!! patawad po at napagkamalan kitang si manong guard.
biruin mo siya ang presidente ng kumpanya.. at noong makilala ko'y tila napaka
galing at napaka talino.. dun ko napagtanto na wala talaga sa damit ang
pagkatao ng tao.. nagulat lang naman ako at medyo naaliw din naman..

kaya sa susunod kilalanin muna ang mga nakakasalubong ok?!

summer

summer is officially here!

my gosh.. it's so hot!
ggrrrrr!!!

and it's getting worst everyday..:|

dear alma matter

a while ago i went back to my dear alma matter for the hildegard awards -- an annual celebration of the MassCom department that tends to give due recognition to women in Media who were able to make a difference not just to their own selves but to the lives of other people as well..

I was late i admit..It was time for the open forum when i arrived but there was this message from one of the awardees that was stuck in my head.. She said.. " You need to read a lot in order for you to write.." kabbbooommm!!! that's what i need to practice i guess.. im not into reading.. i read a bit or read whenever i want to.. but reading as a habit? oh my! no.no.no.. not yet..;)

anyway.. i realized a lot of things after watching the Hildegard awards. My knowledge and values were awakened once again. Thanks to all my mentors who have been my inspiration.. now its my turn to do something good and prove what a Masscom student of st.scho can do..;))

sulat sulat

this past few weeks.. wala lang.
cguro nagsusulat ako ng wala lang..
minsan hindi ko na alam kung may sense yung
sinusulat ko basta alam ko lang gusto kong
may maisulat sa page ko.

nakakatawa noh? hindi mo alam kung meron
din patutuhguhan ang mga sinusulat ko..
pero ok lang. atleast nagiging ok ako
sa tuwing nagsusulat ako sa page na to..

hahahaha.. sulat sulat lang..
kahit ano. tungkol sa kahit saan..
kung anu lang pumasok sa isip ko.. hehhehe..:)

wala lang.. share lang..;)

photography?

im thinking of some things what i could do with my life.
there's a bunch of activities that i still want to accomplish and still want to learn.
this time i'm thinking to pursue my masteral degree but the problem is i still dont have enough money to enroll myself and study again. My parents will not support my tuition fee anymore.. hmmm.. this time i want to study and practice photography. im in love with the camera. i want to capture every moment of my life and i want to pursue it as my career.. I want to have a diploma in photography.. oh my! im dreaming again.. this is just one of my million dreams..

I still want to equip myself with skills, knowledge and wisdom.. i love learning a lot and that's how life should be. i dont want to be stucked from where i am..

this is just one of them. There are still a lot on my list..:)
just taking one step at a time.. hahaha..
hopefully i can do it.. ill find ways!:)

the world won't stop for you

Everytime I walk alone it's my habit to observe what is going on around me. It's just nice to look at all the things that my eyes can see especially people whom i used to pass by. I look at them wondering if they are feeling the same way as i do or simply thinking of what's going on inside their minds.. Hahaha.. so weird though but it's something i always do..

I observe a lot and i enjoy doing it. It makes me think almost about everything. One day while i was walking along Makati I saw a lot of people just passing by me. Some of them walks faster than i do, others run as fast as they could to come to work on time, some of them was telling stories with their friends, some let their eyes meet mine for a second, others are walking with their ipods on their ears and don't care at all while others are walking alone just like me..

I was not feeling ok at that moment I got lots of things in mind and I dont know what to do with life and by just looking at people I suddenly realized that the world won't stop turning and the time won't stop running for me. Everything is moving and I cant tell the world to stop simply because I am not doing fine.
At that point i thought of myself.. I know I should learn to go with the flow, i need to do the things that i should be doing, I need to move my feet from where i am, I need to act normal as if everything is fine. I need to do all of those things for myself because time is running and I know that i wont be staying from that particular moment. Everything is going to end whether it is good or bad.

The world is a place where I used to stay and it wont stop turning. There are other people living on earth and I am not the only one in here. Time wont stop running either because others also need it. Time is time and it is your life and my life.
It is the best healer and comforter. It's either good or bad but whatever it gives I know its always right thing for me.

There's nothing you or I can do about it. Now i learned to enjoy and accept whatever it brings me..

this day

what's so significant about this day?



NOTHING!!!

it was like any ordinary day

but the good thing though is that..

I'M STILL ALIVE!!

just thanking GOD for my life..:))

day dreaming

While i was working with my project in the office a lot of things went inside my head..

i was searching for culinary experts to invite for the upcoming forum for our client. i was browsing the internet and I saw some of the most famous chefs in the country.

I was dreaming to meet them in person. I want to have a face-to-face discussion and demonstration with them. As much as i wanted to have a taste of their specialties and they will cook and bake for me I know that will always remain as a dream.. hahaah!

well.. just hoping to make friends with them and have a share of their delicious specialties..


yyyuuuummmmm!!!! craving for some good foods..;)

Freaky Thursday

Everyday since i got the job I become the earliest bird among my officemates.
My boss already gave me the keys to open the office in the morning.
It was Thursday (Feb.4,2010) I got in the office at around 8:10 in the morning.
i did all the usual stuff.. i opened the aircon, i switch on the lights, I opened my computer, i opened the internet and all..

When i finished turning all of them on I sat infront of my computer. I was checking my mail and my facebook account and it was so quiet. Til i heard a soft voice calling my name. wwwwwaaaahhhhh!!!! No one is in the office except me. I picked up my cellphone and went out of the office. wwhhheewww!!! that was freakkyyy!! It was a voice of a woman who called me. I was thinking to leave the building first and go somewhere else but i left the key inside. I dont know what to do.. I was just outside the door catching my breathe. After a while I opened the office again.. I was hoping not to see anyone inside.. i left the door open so i can ran quickly if something happens again.. I was facing my fears at that moment.. I need to get the keys from my bag so i can ran away.. it took me 10-20 seconds inside.. finally i got the keys and I locked the office.. While i was walking away I saw my officemate coming.. I told him what happened.. He was just laughing at me... We went inside the office.. after a while he told me he'll be going to the comfort room.. oh well.. I went out of the office again and wait for a while til he comes back.. that was so close.. I had goosebumps i swear!! i told myself from that moment that i will never come to the office alone again..

that was SSSOOOOOOOOO FFRREEEAAAKKYYY!!!!

first day

first day was so bc but it was cool..
my concept has been approved and the graphic artist made it already.
i'm was given a new project at the same day..:)

cool

yet

im

still

broken.

atleast i got something to divert my attention.
need it badly!

happiness to sadness

just as i was about to celebrate my happiness for having a job this year something finally came up..

this has nothing to do with landing on a good job..
this has something to do with my heart..

yang and i couldn't be together anymore..
sadness filled my heart
and tears fell from my eyes.

now im broken. im tired. im lost.

honestly i dont know exactly what to do..
got no strength yet to move on..
hopefully soon..:(

first job

just when i was about to give up..
something good finally came up!

i was on a jeepney when somebody called me up through my cellphone. I look at the number and it starts with (02) so i knew I was called through a landline phone. I wasn't able to answer the call so i just let it thinking who would that be..

later at noontime i received a text message saying..

" Hi ms mona. Dis s jacqui mercado of solution.comm. We are offering u d position of communications specialist w/ a gross salary of p--,000 monthly. Work hours are from mon-fri 8:30-5:30. If u wud accept the job offer, can u start on tue?tnx"

Sender:
(no name)
+63917-------
Received:
12:03:14
15-01-2010

I was blank at that time.. I dont know what to react.. I was thinking if it was real.. I was so silent at that moment yet i know I am happy with what i have read..
great! so i texted my friends to inform them about the job offer.. i accepted it without any hesitation.. I said Yes!

early that morning i was losing hope.. I didnt even know if i would still find a job that I would definitely like.. and all of a sudden i received this txt.. God exactly gave me what i need.. praise God for this..

This would be my first job in my whole life.. Hoping to do my job well..:) nice one! let's see what will happen to me..:)

natawa na lang ako..

nakakatawang eksena...

In an interview:
Mona: Good Afternoon Ma'am!
Interviewer: Hi Good Afternoon (then she looks at me)..
you look different from your picture..
Mona: (smile) (thinking if it's a compliment or panlalait)

hahahhahaha!!! toinks! yari ka!!!