BEING ON MY OWN

such a courageous thought! how was that? but seriously.. I'm thinking about it from this moment. I want to be  on my own now, not because I'm old enough, well.. maybe that's one but that's not the main reason after all. I want to see things differently away from where I am.

Obligations seems unfair! actually from that point of view I wanted to contest the idea. The world looks so small now and I know fighting back or moving out are the simplest answer to this..

First Day (again)

Yesterday was the end of my BUM days.. and yes, I went back to my previous work. Luckily they accepted me again. This time it's really a warm come back. They welcomed me with an open arms so I didn't have to adjust a lot. But on the other side I may say that " may sumpa talaga ang first day". Proven and tested until this day. I always shed tears on my first day not because of work but for some personal issues... I hope today would be better and I hope one day that this so called "sumpa" would be taken out away from my being...

LUNGKOT BA KAMO?

ano man ang ma-isulat
marahil dahilan lng ito ng pagka-mulat
sa katotohanang matagal ko nang pinagtataguan
na pilit kong inaalis sa isipan.

subalit hindi ko mawari ngayon
kung bakit nakikisabay ito sa panahon.
nakaka-lungkot ika nga
na parang gsto ko na lang pumasok sa banga.

hindi ako sanay sa mga ganitong eksena
at kung maari lang ay gumamit ng maskara
nang sa ganon ay hindi nino man makita
ang isinisigaw ng mga mata.

paano ko ba masasabi sa sarili
ang mga katagang "ayos lang yan" ng nakangiti?
kahit alam na alam kong hindi
at walang masabihan kahit anong hikbi.


-tinignimaria-

HONEY (movie)

This is one of the most unwanted days I had so far, feeling so dumb, pointless and useless. I’ve been very silent for almost the whole day thinking about almost running away from where I am but luckily, I ended up lying in bed watching one of my favourite movies. HONEY.

 I’d watched it for the Nth time but this is the very first time that I decided to write something that really inspired me. There’s this scene where honey thought of what makes her happy, after hearing that line I paused for a while and asked the same question to myself... “What really makes me happy?”.

 At this point I’d be honest I am seriously clueless about myself. Where I’d be and what will I be doing in the future. I’m thinking about where life would take me. Today, I got nothing. No job, No money, nothing to do. Everything was negative, my life has no direction and almost all the people around me can say something negatively about me and what I am doing about my life. I’m perfectly NOTHING. The only thing I got was my dreams and ambitions and they are all just pure ideas. Unlike Honey, she has the guts, she has the moves, the beat and the skills. But me? I am just a frustrated dancer and a street dancing fan. I can’t even shake my butt and do the “otso-otso dance”. I have nothing to show off.

 But there’s this thought that really inspired me. It made me remember what I can do, what Development Communication was all about and made me realize what really counts in this life. It’s not who you are, It’s not what you achieved or how great you are. It’s how you look at people, helping them and bringing out the best in them and believing in yourself. No matter how big or small your deeds are it counts and it could change the lives of other people. Being good is a choice, it cost nothing but it creates so much.

welcome ME back!

it's been a while since I left this place. This is my sanctuary where I can be just ME. This is where I write all that's been running inside my head. In here I can be the craziest person I wanted to be. I don't have to worry about what other people might say about me or what they think of me. It's just ME. ME, MYSELF AND I. Welcome back my dear self. Let's get this on..:)